So on the 17th September I said my goodbyes to the Africa Mercy. I was absolutely torn I can tell you. i have been stretched and challenged, laughed and cried, and experienced every emotional high and low I can possibly think of. Often times it can feel that these experiences have been more of a blessing to yourself than you blessing others, and this is no different. I wish I could share every single moment I have had with you, but I hope this blog has helped give you a bit of an insight into my beautiful world of the last 6 months. I will sorely miss everything, but mostly the sense of making a difference and being part of something out of this world, and not of my doing!
So to anyone who has prayed, thought about me, assisted financially, been on the ship or at home encouraging me, I thank you so much for being part of this amazing experience.
Many people have asked me 'what next?' Honestly right now I am not sure. I do know that Africa and nursing those in need have become even deeper set in my heart and I hope and pray it won't be long before I am 'living my dream' again. Watch this space!
Monday, 22 September 2008
A new life
The day I left the ship we had some very exciting news... during the night one of our children's mums (the child being the patient) began complaining of abdominal pain at 2am. She was 8 months pregnant but denied that he pain she was feeling was 'having a baby pain'. Our nurses called the doctor, and on the 'braking of the waters' called in one of our lovely nurses who is also a trained midwife. She arrived at around 4 am to examine the mum, and by 4.40 the baby was squeezed into the world, with mere paracetamol and a few 'it hurting plenty-o's'. No problems, super nurse Mandy was absolutely ecstatic to have helped bring this amazing new life into the world at just 4 pounds 9 ounces.
Not one patient on the ward batted an eyelid..perfectly normal occurrence in this culture! The baby was aptly named 'Mercy' and is doing well, although a little small. What a beautiful story to end my time!
Not one patient on the ward batted an eyelid..perfectly normal occurrence in this culture! The baby was aptly named 'Mercy' and is doing well, although a little small. What a beautiful story to end my time!
My VVF ladies and their dress ceremony
I had the awesome privilege of being at the dress ceremony of several of my patients a few days before I left the ship. 4 of the ladies I had been looking after were squeezed into a little room to be prepared. As I peeked through the glass panel of the door, I saw an excited bunch of ladies, putting on make up, spraying perfume, having their hair done, and beautiful vibrant patterned fabric being wrapped around them - their new garments.
As I headed down to the ward, Finda (32), one of my 'live wire' patients popped out of the room. Spotting Dr Steve her surgeon in the distance she bounds up to him, shouting 'look no pee pee!!!' as she danced in a circle showing us her dry legs and feet. We all laughed and danced together.
I settled into my seat on the ward and waited for the familiar drumming to begin as the ladies came down the corridor singing. Dr Steve the surgeon sitting opposite me, having been to many ceremonies before, was clearly just as excited about this one as the first one he had ever been to! The music got louder and the singing more joyous, eventually the ladies bounding in the room and taking their seats at the end of the ward. After a word from our beautiful Clementine who works closely with the ladies every day, each of the ladies gave their testimony.
Garmai has had VVF for 26 years!!! She is amazing. Every day in the ward at least twice she would begin leading the ladies in worship and she would preach God's word to all those around her. She was so faithful to everything she knew and so vibrant and such a character on the ward. She has had a ministry of healing for years and years, and through her time in her church she has been able to pray for many people and see them healed of many afflictions. She explained to us how her first husband had left, but then how she became remarried despite her sickness. Still she asked God why He could heal so many others through her, but she was still sick. Now she was standing there, dry, proclaiming how faithful God had been to her, and realising how her story would be for the encouragement of so many others, with her adamant that God's timing was perfect! Garmai then became so excited as she proclaimed 'now I can stand at the front of my church because I won't have a wet butt!'
Next came Finda who is such a character. We had so much fun with her coining the phrase I used one day in jest 'you try it lady...' when I jokingly challenged one of my patients to do something she knew she couldn't. Day after day as I walked on the ward adn went about my nursing activities, there would be Finda in the background 'hey lady, you just try it lady!!' Many of my colleagues still haven't forgiven me for that little gem ;-) She sang so beautifully and then told us how she had been leaking for 13 years. Her husband had left her and her baby had died. Now she had new life and she was going to live it to the full!
In the corner of the room was Baby, who I have talked about before. The surgeons had done everything they could for the hole between her bladder, vagina and rectum, and after her catheter had been removed, she was tragically still leaking. She was so brave. She was offered a dress ceremony as a sign of God giving her life even though she was still wet. Understandably she declined but she came to support her friends. She quietly celebrated with them, and then at the end, tears in her eyes she sat very still. Our hearts were breaking for this poor sweet 19 year old. We prayed for her and cried with her, empathising with the image in her mind of her future. But, in true style, Garmai drew close to her, someone who had suffered for 26 years, encouraging her not to give up hope and thank God that he was going to use her. I was shaken to my core. I have it so good, and the faith of those who have it so bad is above and beyond anything I have ever dreamed of. These women have taught me so much it is unbelievable.
As I headed down to the ward, Finda (32), one of my 'live wire' patients popped out of the room. Spotting Dr Steve her surgeon in the distance she bounds up to him, shouting 'look no pee pee!!!' as she danced in a circle showing us her dry legs and feet. We all laughed and danced together.
I settled into my seat on the ward and waited for the familiar drumming to begin as the ladies came down the corridor singing. Dr Steve the surgeon sitting opposite me, having been to many ceremonies before, was clearly just as excited about this one as the first one he had ever been to! The music got louder and the singing more joyous, eventually the ladies bounding in the room and taking their seats at the end of the ward. After a word from our beautiful Clementine who works closely with the ladies every day, each of the ladies gave their testimony.
Garmai has had VVF for 26 years!!! She is amazing. Every day in the ward at least twice she would begin leading the ladies in worship and she would preach God's word to all those around her. She was so faithful to everything she knew and so vibrant and such a character on the ward. She has had a ministry of healing for years and years, and through her time in her church she has been able to pray for many people and see them healed of many afflictions. She explained to us how her first husband had left, but then how she became remarried despite her sickness. Still she asked God why He could heal so many others through her, but she was still sick. Now she was standing there, dry, proclaiming how faithful God had been to her, and realising how her story would be for the encouragement of so many others, with her adamant that God's timing was perfect! Garmai then became so excited as she proclaimed 'now I can stand at the front of my church because I won't have a wet butt!'
Next came Finda who is such a character. We had so much fun with her coining the phrase I used one day in jest 'you try it lady...' when I jokingly challenged one of my patients to do something she knew she couldn't. Day after day as I walked on the ward adn went about my nursing activities, there would be Finda in the background 'hey lady, you just try it lady!!' Many of my colleagues still haven't forgiven me for that little gem ;-) She sang so beautifully and then told us how she had been leaking for 13 years. Her husband had left her and her baby had died. Now she had new life and she was going to live it to the full!
In the corner of the room was Baby, who I have talked about before. The surgeons had done everything they could for the hole between her bladder, vagina and rectum, and after her catheter had been removed, she was tragically still leaking. She was so brave. She was offered a dress ceremony as a sign of God giving her life even though she was still wet. Understandably she declined but she came to support her friends. She quietly celebrated with them, and then at the end, tears in her eyes she sat very still. Our hearts were breaking for this poor sweet 19 year old. We prayed for her and cried with her, empathising with the image in her mind of her future. But, in true style, Garmai drew close to her, someone who had suffered for 26 years, encouraging her not to give up hope and thank God that he was going to use her. I was shaken to my core. I have it so good, and the faith of those who have it so bad is above and beyond anything I have ever dreamed of. These women have taught me so much it is unbelievable.
Before I left...
I am now back in sunny (??!!) UK and yearning to be back in my 'home'. I had a crazy time my last few weeks so I just had a few little gems I didn't get chance to write about...
My VVF ladies continued to be a huge source of inspiration to me. We had a hilarious moment taking some of the ladies up to deck 7. Several of the slightly older ladies were clearly bewildered by the concept of the lift... we crammed them into the dark lift, mainly used for the kitchens, and their faces were a picture. Hands gripped to the rails and wide eyes bored into the door of the lift. Many of them were unable to speak any English so just kept looking at me questioningly as the lift began... the ding of the lift as the doors swooshed open signified the moment for an exhaling of held breath on the part of the ladies and a bit of a chuckle from me :)
On returning to the ward a little later (after a slightly more giggle some trip down in the lift), the ladies went hurriedly around telling each other about the 'lift events'. the giggling, laughing and arms waving and pretending to leap in the air as if the lift were going up were obvious story telling moments. Oh how I laughed too!
It's amazing what we take for granted, a simple lift and even flights of stairs never encountered by other people...
My VVF ladies continued to be a huge source of inspiration to me. We had a hilarious moment taking some of the ladies up to deck 7. Several of the slightly older ladies were clearly bewildered by the concept of the lift... we crammed them into the dark lift, mainly used for the kitchens, and their faces were a picture. Hands gripped to the rails and wide eyes bored into the door of the lift. Many of them were unable to speak any English so just kept looking at me questioningly as the lift began... the ding of the lift as the doors swooshed open signified the moment for an exhaling of held breath on the part of the ladies and a bit of a chuckle from me :)
On returning to the ward a little later (after a slightly more giggle some trip down in the lift), the ladies went hurriedly around telling each other about the 'lift events'. the giggling, laughing and arms waving and pretending to leap in the air as if the lift were going up were obvious story telling moments. Oh how I laughed too!
It's amazing what we take for granted, a simple lift and even flights of stairs never encountered by other people...
Sunday, 7 September 2008
Imagine...
This weekend I have been working again with the ladies with vaginal fistulas. This morning we had our church service and alaso a dress ceremony for 4 of our ladies who have had surgery, and are now 'dry'. It was a beautiful morning, The ward was packed with crew and all the patients from the wards. 4 red chairs had pride of place for those having their dress ceremony. The service began with the distant beat of an African drum, as the ladies came down the corridor. They had been spending time getting their new clothes, make up and jewellry on - a gift to signify their new start and how precious they are. As they came in the ward dressed up to the nines in vivid coloured fabrics, the worship continued.
Imagine - 26 years since having a baby and leaking urine constantly since then. Repeated surgeries failing, being disowned and rejected by family and friends. This was was the story of one of our ladies today. She is a muslim. Beautifully tall and elegant in her new clothes she told her story, all the time thanking God. She is now dry. A lady with a strong personality, she knows her mind. Everyone she knew warned her that Mercy Ships is a Christian Ship and that because of that she shouldn't go. Knowing she might finally have an operation to heal her, she ignored them and battled to come. She told us how she had vowed that if God healed her on the ship, she would become a Christian. Her husband, would disown her. Today she told us that was the decision she had made, because God was the one who created her, so He was the one she wanted to follow. I have never seen such commitment ever. Now she may suffer rejection for a different reason, yet she still chose it.
On the other side of the ward is my beautiful 'little girl'. Not such a happy story. She has a small childlike voice, her features so pretty yet so young, dimples in her beautiful cheeks. She is 19 and aptly named 'Baby'. She developed a tear between her bladder vagina and urethra. Not only has this girl lost a baby at so young an age, a baby growing likely in a far too underdeveloped body, she has been leaking urine and faeces. She has had very complex surgery, and has is still leaking urine and occasionally faeces too. Most of the time she giggles and laughs. We paint her toenails and giggle at the songs from the movie 'Madagascar'...that's what really get s me, she is still a child at heart, the youngest of 9 children I believe. Then I have to change her 'adult diaper' and the harsh reality of her situation comes flooding back to us both. She recounts stories of her frinds laughing and teasing her. My heart breaks a little bit more everytime she speaks. She breaks down in tears at her situation, and the worst of it is that the surgeons have come to the point where there is nothing more that they can do. All I can do is pray and cry with her, not knowing what her future holds.
19. Lost a baby. May never be able to have a child again. May never have anyone who wants to come near them. I have it good, really good.
These are the moments that break my heart over and over again, but oh what a privelage to do what I can do - pray and hope and love each of my beautiful ladies with all my heart. Sometimes that is all I can do.
Imagine - 26 years since having a baby and leaking urine constantly since then. Repeated surgeries failing, being disowned and rejected by family and friends. This was was the story of one of our ladies today. She is a muslim. Beautifully tall and elegant in her new clothes she told her story, all the time thanking God. She is now dry. A lady with a strong personality, she knows her mind. Everyone she knew warned her that Mercy Ships is a Christian Ship and that because of that she shouldn't go. Knowing she might finally have an operation to heal her, she ignored them and battled to come. She told us how she had vowed that if God healed her on the ship, she would become a Christian. Her husband, would disown her. Today she told us that was the decision she had made, because God was the one who created her, so He was the one she wanted to follow. I have never seen such commitment ever. Now she may suffer rejection for a different reason, yet she still chose it.
On the other side of the ward is my beautiful 'little girl'. Not such a happy story. She has a small childlike voice, her features so pretty yet so young, dimples in her beautiful cheeks. She is 19 and aptly named 'Baby'. She developed a tear between her bladder vagina and urethra. Not only has this girl lost a baby at so young an age, a baby growing likely in a far too underdeveloped body, she has been leaking urine and faeces. She has had very complex surgery, and has is still leaking urine and occasionally faeces too. Most of the time she giggles and laughs. We paint her toenails and giggle at the songs from the movie 'Madagascar'...that's what really get s me, she is still a child at heart, the youngest of 9 children I believe. Then I have to change her 'adult diaper' and the harsh reality of her situation comes flooding back to us both. She recounts stories of her frinds laughing and teasing her. My heart breaks a little bit more everytime she speaks. She breaks down in tears at her situation, and the worst of it is that the surgeons have come to the point where there is nothing more that they can do. All I can do is pray and cry with her, not knowing what her future holds.
19. Lost a baby. May never be able to have a child again. May never have anyone who wants to come near them. I have it good, really good.
These are the moments that break my heart over and over again, but oh what a privelage to do what I can do - pray and hope and love each of my beautiful ladies with all my heart. Sometimes that is all I can do.
Friday, 5 September 2008
Missionaries of charity
As time is drawing to a close for me here, i am still trying to do as many things as I can...
I went again to Missionaries of Charity this week and we have 3 new very very tiny babies :)
Tene is a baby who came in at a mere 1kg in weight. His Mama came to the sisters of charity very sick, apparently not with HIV however. She died 2 weeks after she arrived. The babies father was around but has not been seen since the mother died. The sisters are focusing on trying to help the baby become strong and healthy and they will try and get him back to his father. Even in 2 weeks he has become much stronger, and with a very precarius weighing method on kitchen scales I managed to weigh him this week and he is now just over 2kg which is really so much better. One of the girls who came for a short time was a paediatric nurse so gave the sisters some advice on adding some oil to his feed to build up his fat stores somewhat.
There are also a set of twins that have been taken in who are basically malnourished. It is very difficult sometimes to appreciate the way of thinking here. One of the twins is doing better than the other so the mum has been spending all her time nurturing and cuddling and feeding taht one. The other one she ignores. She was trying to feed it with a bottle with a split teet which meant the milk was going everywhere, so instead of doing anything else she just stopped feeding the child! We were quite upset so asked the sisters to talk to her, which she did thankfully and mum was shown how to feed her properly. It seemed she has really just 'given up' on the smallest baby.
I am continuing to be amazed at the improvement of some of the children. One young boy probably around 7 or 8 was so listless and fragile just a few weeks ago, with open sores on his body. This week, although he was very shy, he was interacting, able to hold his own body weight and even sneaked out a smile as we did face paints :)
I went again to Missionaries of Charity this week and we have 3 new very very tiny babies :)
Tene is a baby who came in at a mere 1kg in weight. His Mama came to the sisters of charity very sick, apparently not with HIV however. She died 2 weeks after she arrived. The babies father was around but has not been seen since the mother died. The sisters are focusing on trying to help the baby become strong and healthy and they will try and get him back to his father. Even in 2 weeks he has become much stronger, and with a very precarius weighing method on kitchen scales I managed to weigh him this week and he is now just over 2kg which is really so much better. One of the girls who came for a short time was a paediatric nurse so gave the sisters some advice on adding some oil to his feed to build up his fat stores somewhat.
There are also a set of twins that have been taken in who are basically malnourished. It is very difficult sometimes to appreciate the way of thinking here. One of the twins is doing better than the other so the mum has been spending all her time nurturing and cuddling and feeding taht one. The other one she ignores. She was trying to feed it with a bottle with a split teet which meant the milk was going everywhere, so instead of doing anything else she just stopped feeding the child! We were quite upset so asked the sisters to talk to her, which she did thankfully and mum was shown how to feed her properly. It seemed she has really just 'given up' on the smallest baby.
I am continuing to be amazed at the improvement of some of the children. One young boy probably around 7 or 8 was so listless and fragile just a few weeks ago, with open sores on his body. This week, although he was very shy, he was interacting, able to hold his own body weight and even sneaked out a smile as we did face paints :)
Sunday, 31 August 2008
A day out
Yesterday I went for a day trip to an old hydro plant about an hour and a halfs drive away. A group of 18 of us packed our bags and set off stuffed into 2 landrovers, running to them to escape the torrential rain. thankfully as we departed from the port the rain lessened and eventually stopped. We dashed through our end of town, then headed off deeper into the country, along horrendously pot holed roads. We passed through many tiny villages and communities, and the waves and staring peering eyes and curious yelps from many children continued all the way there.
We arrived to the bombed out building of the old hydro plant, net by two men who 'guard' the area by the massive gushing river behind the building. After trekking around the building , we set off with the two locals and our 'guides' Lourens and Carl from the ship. We walked through the old river bed and looked at the old dam where once the river had flown through. After the rebels had destryoed the dam and through the war it's parts had been salvaged for metal, very little of it remained.
The beginning of our adventure introduced us to fire ants by the millions! They were everywhere, and as we started down craggy rocks and through the greenery, we found they were everywhere, and got everywhere, particularly at that area just around the ankles above your socks...yak and ouch :) The greenery was so lush and as I clung onto a rock, face virtually touching it as I slipped down to the ground beneath me, I was so thankful to be outdoors. I had forgotten how much I liked being outside and facing those heart rate raising moments of the outdoor adventure.
We carried on up the side of the old river bed on reasonably well worn tracks, with absolutely amazing views of the river, which dropped markedly in many places producing huge waterfalls. Then we reached one of the first heart beating moments - a wade through some fairly fast moving water. We had been warned! So one by one we launched ourselves bags over our heads through the water, neck deep, and for the shorter of the group...swam to the other side. Then began the passing of bags and cameras and much hilarity as legs were caught in tree roots. Impressed that we all made it unscathed and still in good spirits we carried on the track through much denser vegetation, eventually reaching a huge plateau of rocks right next to the top of the largest waterfall. As we ate I was astounded of the beautuy of this place, and reminded of the remoteness of those living in the villages. Some of us took a different route back, climbing high up from the river, we had time to look back on stunning views. We came out in a small village, with several hut houses around an open area. Kids were playing, chics and chickens roamed around and people sat outside their huts, shy little children poking heads out from behind mum's lappa, intrigued at the 'white sight'. Again, it struck me as i saw a mamas swelling belly, how remote these places are, and my heart felt how easy it was for us to receive all taht we need medically, and here, how help is so rare. If this mama had any problems in childbirth she would have hours to the nearest hospital, even then she may well not have the money to receive that help.
After lots of hellos, we continued back to the hydro plant. Some very soggy wet people relaxing after a very physically challenging few hours trek. It was so much fun to be outside and really in the beauty of this country. I didn't break anything, for those of you who know me well that's a pretty big feat!! Many fire ant bites and quite a few bruises, not bad for a days work!!
On our return journey, it had become very much muddier and we had to pull the other landrover out at one point as it got stuck in the mud. Holding on to our seats was about all we could do to bear the jostling of the landrovers.
As we returned through one small community we were stopped by a huge family. They had a lady who was sick and wanted us to help. Well stocked with nurses and doctors, a small group went into the dingy house. Sadly after examing her it seemed she had had a stroke and was unresponsive. There was little we could do. We prayed and left, reminded again of the need of these people.
As we neared the ship, we passed a large group of kids by a huge flooded area of muddy water which we often saw them using to wash the cars. Our very much worse for wear vehicles needed a good scrub, so much to the delight of the kids we stopped and payed them to clean the cars. The mayhem ensuing was amazing! Every one wanted to join in, to the point of some of the kids stripping to their nothings so they could use their shorts to wash the cars. Unfortunately, the landrovers we had are pretty old, so their water-tightness is questionable! Those of us in the vehicle I think got about as wet through the doors adn roof and windows as the kids playing in the water! They loved it and it was a great way to end a hugely challenging day.
I think I need to be reminded toget out and enjoy our beautiful british countryside when I get home :) Friends, you can hold me to that. there's nothing like being outside!!
We arrived to the bombed out building of the old hydro plant, net by two men who 'guard' the area by the massive gushing river behind the building. After trekking around the building , we set off with the two locals and our 'guides' Lourens and Carl from the ship. We walked through the old river bed and looked at the old dam where once the river had flown through. After the rebels had destryoed the dam and through the war it's parts had been salvaged for metal, very little of it remained.
The beginning of our adventure introduced us to fire ants by the millions! They were everywhere, and as we started down craggy rocks and through the greenery, we found they were everywhere, and got everywhere, particularly at that area just around the ankles above your socks...yak and ouch :) The greenery was so lush and as I clung onto a rock, face virtually touching it as I slipped down to the ground beneath me, I was so thankful to be outdoors. I had forgotten how much I liked being outside and facing those heart rate raising moments of the outdoor adventure.
We carried on up the side of the old river bed on reasonably well worn tracks, with absolutely amazing views of the river, which dropped markedly in many places producing huge waterfalls. Then we reached one of the first heart beating moments - a wade through some fairly fast moving water. We had been warned! So one by one we launched ourselves bags over our heads through the water, neck deep, and for the shorter of the group...swam to the other side. Then began the passing of bags and cameras and much hilarity as legs were caught in tree roots. Impressed that we all made it unscathed and still in good spirits we carried on the track through much denser vegetation, eventually reaching a huge plateau of rocks right next to the top of the largest waterfall. As we ate I was astounded of the beautuy of this place, and reminded of the remoteness of those living in the villages. Some of us took a different route back, climbing high up from the river, we had time to look back on stunning views. We came out in a small village, with several hut houses around an open area. Kids were playing, chics and chickens roamed around and people sat outside their huts, shy little children poking heads out from behind mum's lappa, intrigued at the 'white sight'. Again, it struck me as i saw a mamas swelling belly, how remote these places are, and my heart felt how easy it was for us to receive all taht we need medically, and here, how help is so rare. If this mama had any problems in childbirth she would have hours to the nearest hospital, even then she may well not have the money to receive that help.
After lots of hellos, we continued back to the hydro plant. Some very soggy wet people relaxing after a very physically challenging few hours trek. It was so much fun to be outside and really in the beauty of this country. I didn't break anything, for those of you who know me well that's a pretty big feat!! Many fire ant bites and quite a few bruises, not bad for a days work!!
On our return journey, it had become very much muddier and we had to pull the other landrover out at one point as it got stuck in the mud. Holding on to our seats was about all we could do to bear the jostling of the landrovers.
As we returned through one small community we were stopped by a huge family. They had a lady who was sick and wanted us to help. Well stocked with nurses and doctors, a small group went into the dingy house. Sadly after examing her it seemed she had had a stroke and was unresponsive. There was little we could do. We prayed and left, reminded again of the need of these people.
As we neared the ship, we passed a large group of kids by a huge flooded area of muddy water which we often saw them using to wash the cars. Our very much worse for wear vehicles needed a good scrub, so much to the delight of the kids we stopped and payed them to clean the cars. The mayhem ensuing was amazing! Every one wanted to join in, to the point of some of the kids stripping to their nothings so they could use their shorts to wash the cars. Unfortunately, the landrovers we had are pretty old, so their water-tightness is questionable! Those of us in the vehicle I think got about as wet through the doors adn roof and windows as the kids playing in the water! They loved it and it was a great way to end a hugely challenging day.
I think I need to be reminded toget out and enjoy our beautiful british countryside when I get home :) Friends, you can hold me to that. there's nothing like being outside!!
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