Sunday, 29 June 2008

Firestone Rubber Plantation

Yesterday I went to the Rubber Plantation that is owned by Firestone. You may have firestone tyres? We went driving through the massive platation which is esentially a huge community. It has a school, clinic, the rubber factory and all teh rubber stations. The workers are required to tap 1000s of rubber trees. they use a sharp instrument to score the tree and then around each tree a small collecting pot like the size of a small plant pot is strung around the tree. As the sap drips it is channelled into the pots. We were talking to some of the guys that work there. They work 7 days a week and very long hours. It is hugely heavy work. It takes 4 hours for a tree to fill one cup, then this is all added together in a bucket of about 8 gallons. In the one station we stopped at, the guys are expected to collect 68 gallons per day of the rubber sap. That is a phenomenol amount! Plus once they have collected the small pots of rubber, they have to fill their buckets then carry them (walking), some of them for 45 minutes from their tree area to the main station, using a bamboo yoke. Several of the workers were coming back to their station as we arrived and they looked exhausted.
the workers get paid £1.50 a day and work 7 days a week. It was pretty enlightening to say the least. I never knew what a process was gone through to get rubber! It seems pretty strange to think how much this company is making when their workers are getting paid so little.
The forest itself was beautiful, really tranquil and so peaceful. I forget how noisy it is here in Monrovia, there is never any let up with noise!

Wednesday, 25 June 2008

Feeling the pressure...and other musings

This week we began the first trial of our 12 hour shifts. unfortunately, it happened that I was on a stretch of 8 days with one day off, and I ended the stretch in 3 consecutive 12 hour shifts, eek! As you can imagine I was pretty tired. I wasn't quite aware of how demanding my group of patients had been until Monday, but Monday came the pressure. I didn't stop. My patients who I love dearly just need so much right now. Not only do they have their physical needs, they have an emotional and spiritual need that in my own strength I cannot fulfill. I guess that's what I was trying to do , and let me tell you it didn't work! It can be so difficult here. We have one patient who I have looked after for some time now who to many of us, seems quite irate and angry all the time. he is 'demanding' and it can be hard to keep calm with him. Monday I was with him for a long time as he talked to me, and I just had to ask, 'What is it that you need from me, what can I do?' We prayed together for a long time. This man is 24, we have done surgery to his leg and arm for him, but he has had a stay in another hospital which has caused other wounds that we are now trying to treat. He has little education, few family, does not live locally, has no money, and is pretty much desperate. Since the war this is not an uncommon thing, however, his injuries mean that he is limited in what he can do for work, and as unemployment rate is 75-85% here. The outlook is bleak. This was a day when I came to breaking point, what am I doing, is it enough, I can't do everything, I am one person, and I am not superwoman (though I may like to think so!).

Yesterday I read Haggai, and that really spoke to me. In Haggai, it talks of how the peoples own lives were not being productive and fulfilling. God told the people through the prophet Haggai that they needed to rebuild God's temple because while they were busy with their own 'houses' God's house remained in ruin, and therefore things were being held back from them. I guess in my own life, I realised that I haven't been so careful to nurture God and my relationship with him in recent weeks, and in many ways, this is likely limiting how effective what I am doing and being could be. Don't get me wrong, everyone has good and bad days in life, and there will always be needs that can't all be met for my patients, but what I am spending some of my free time doing could be building me up and making me stronger for those tough times.

There was one little 'saving Grace' on that stressful day...Every now and again, I went to say hi to one of our precious boys aptly named 'Darling Boy' - he is an absolute treasure. He has long curled up eyelashes, and the deepest brown eyes. He is 6 and the most polite and gentle natured little boy. He is quite happy to just sit on your lap and be cuddled. He often runs back and forth to the water tap to fill up cups for those bed ridden, and has only ever once asked me for anything, and that was amidst the demands of Monday. 'Please get me a baaallooon' he asked coming right up to my ear as I gave him little snuggle. Well, after we skipped down the corridor together giggling all the way, a balloon he got. Entertainment for him and 4 other kids for the next 4 hours...
These are the things I try to remember to thank God for amidst everything else.

Friday, 20 June 2008

The raft pictures...



The man with the raft! Tee hee...

By the River after church at GSBC

By the river we stopped at after GSBC. My friend Katy (she's a legend, just for the record!!). These were pics just before the girl calling and the raft escapade!

GSBC photos


One of the sets of sibblings I met :)

One of my African outfits!
Trip to GSBC and me in my African outfit!

A Sunday out

Last Sunday I was off work and decided to go out to a church called Good Shepherd Baptist Church inn Cheesmanburg (yes that's a real place name!!). It is quite a drive from the ship, and requires landrovers as the weather her gets wetter and wetter. After a somewhat bumpy ride, and following a track through pretty thick vegetation, occasionally popping out into a clearing with a group of homes centred around a cooking area, we drove up to a small area of elevated ground just above a small village. A large white washed building protruding on the top, with it's initials GSBC laid out artistically in white stones in front of the building. We waited outside as the sunday school came to an end, then sat down on tiny little pews with desks, built for fairly small people!
The vast majority of the church were kids aged 2 to 8, but we were informed that a lot of the adults would be out and about harvesting their crops before rainy season began. As the service continued, the pastor occasionally slipped into the local dialect of Gola to make sure his local congregation understood his message of the prodigal son. As always, everyone was so welcoming of us from Mercy Ships, and we all had to stand and say our names.

I peeped behind me through the service (by which time I had a little girl of about 6 sprawled across my lap having a good nap, and radiating serious amounts of heat!), and at the back of the church, several of the mama's had spread out their lapas (large piece of fabric they use to carry kids on their backs). One by one the children began dozing off during the sermon, to be fair to them, they had been in church in the stiffling heat since 9.30am, and it was now getting on for 12.30. Each was subsequently hauled by one arm and laid out on the floor behind the pews to nap, a sea of little hot black bodies laid out on beautifully extravagant coloured fabric. I can't believe how quiet so many kids can be, sleeping or not! After the service we went outside to chat to some of the congregation and were mobbed by the inquisitive children.

After church our plan was to go to the beach for the afternoon, but this was preceeded by our adventurous drivers deciding we should check out some of the tracks around the area. So we went through some tiny villages with adults and children alike coming to wave and shake hands. We eventually ended up through a heavily wooded area reaching a river. The track appeared to come out the other side of the river, the local 'Grandma' that was there telling us it was not too deep. The men resisted the temptation to drive through it, but we got out to have a little look around. A young girl had followed us up the path and climbed up the river bank. She made a strange noise aiming over o th other bank. After a few seconds, we heard a 'reply', and in 5 minutes or so a gentleman appeared out of the bushes. He came down to the bank, and stepped onto a raft made of logs. Pulling on a rope strung between 2 trees either side of the river bank, he gradually pulled the raft over to the girl. On she hopped, and sat like the queen on a kind of chair at one end of the raft. It was so lovely to see more of life out of the city, quite a surreal moment!
The peace by that river was phenomenal. I am sitting in a cabin trying to drown out the sounds of drills and machinery working on the deck constantly, so that kind of peace was a little unusual for me!

By this time, 'Grandpa' had arrived on the scene, and Lee one of the drivers was chatting to him about his crops. He ended up agreeing to buy a sack of Casava, the traditional staple food crop here. as Grandpa went disappearing into the bush the word of our whereabouts obviously spread. By the time the exchange of a dollar (50 pence!!) for a sack of casava had been completed, the landrovers were surrounded by 10 or so kids and young men all eager to shake hands and say hello.

After that we set off to our afternoon at the beach. Just another random day in Liberia...!

Jitter Bug before her operation

Miracle baby!

Feeding programme and Jitta Bug

One of the things we often find here is that our patients can be very dehydrated, and malnourished. Oral rehydration salts are a very common pre op prescription. It requires the person to drink a pretty vile tasting solution of salts, sugars and water, sometimes a few litres over several days. i can testify that it is pretty grim, after my ill stomach, I was subjected to a small taster of it....yak!!
Another great thing one of our nurses focuses on is the feeding programme. Just this week, one of our babies who's mum had had surgery was in a pretty bad state. He wasn't holding his head up, he looking very skinny, his ribs protruding, his skin wrinkly from apparent rapid weight loss, was not feeding properly, had oral thrush and had blood in his stool. A pretty bleak picture. As often happens, the care of the patient extended to the family. He was started on a feeding regime and various other things, and yesterday when I went to work after only 3 days input, the results were miraculous!
He was lying on his tummy lifting his head, smiling as wide as wide can be, he looked visibly chubbier inn his cheeks and his eyes sparkled. Some of the things I witness here are phenomenal, and are clearly not just acts of human input. There just has to be a greater input for things that happen here...which brings me to another patient...Jitta -Bug...

Jitta is one of our miracle babies. She was just barely a few months old when she came to Mercy Ships. She had basically a hole in her skull, through which her brain was protruding. As you can imagine, if left this way, brain damage could easily occur (if it hadn't already!) It was imperitive that she had this surgery. After a long and complicated surgery, Jitta-bug (so named by us from her actual name Jitter because of how she looks all wrapped in blankets I believe...) was cared for on ICU for some time. Now she is a few weeks on and we are all astounded by her progress. Although we will never really know if she has incurred and developmental delay or brain damage until she gets bigger, she is showing amazingly normal 'baby behaviour'. She crys, eats, drinks, follows people and moves as we would all hope though we remember daily, it is an absolute miracle. We are all watching in anticipation as she continues to get better. You have no idea how beautiful that baby is to all who have cared for her. For a longtime she had bandages between her nose and round her head. Those are gone now, revealing an absolutely beautiful baby, with little evidence of the trauma she has incurred.


John and David Smith

Have you ever thought any Liberians would be called John and David Smith??!! well, aside from the names, this father and son combo have a pretty neat story, a story which is not uncommon here, and just another of those quirks you would never see at home, and is just another reason why I love it here.
John is 6 and had a club foot repaired. The night he arrived he was like a whirling dirvish leaping around and waving and giggling at us all in absolute excitement. An absolute poppet. Dad came as his caregiver to his appointment pre operatively, and as John was being assessed, the surgeon noted a largish growth on David's (Dad's) finger. In true Mercy Ships form, the surgeon said, would you like to have that off while you're in, it's only a 15 minute job...Two patients for the price of one! So both Dad and son had their surgery on the same day, and then David has continued to look after his slightly more subdued son!
That leads me to another great moment. John was really grizzly and we were really trying to distract him and get him focused on an activity so, we brought out colouring books and crayons (always a massive hit!) hoping he would be interested. Sadly not, but he settled down for a nap. Instead, Dad took up the crayons and book, and began to colour. Time and time again adults will just love to colour and take so much time over it. It still just touches my heart to see something so simple, be so interesting and even therapeutic to people here. It really makes me think how much we take for granted.
When was the last time you really took time to enjoy, and concentrate on one seemingly insignificant task or activity, and truly enjoy it for what it was?

So here's a challenge for you, pick something you do often, slow down and think about it. Enjoy it for it's simplicity. What have you not noticed about that activity that you haven't thought about before? What does it give you the time and space to think about?

Go one, I dare you, I did it when I was doing my laundry of all things, put a whole different spin on the whole thing. Very random!

Alisain

Alisain is a little 2 year old boy who has been with us for quite a while. He had a cleft lip repaired and is now blooming. All his wound is healed, and he is now just here with Mama as what we call a 'Hotel patient'. All care is finished but mama's cousin is still in with her baby, and can't speak much English, so Alisain and his mum are staying to help out with the continuing care of her little one.
As you may know, we start each of our shifts with a prayer time and Wednesday was no different. Often when we group together little bodies appear out of nowhere and crawl into our laps. they are generally very well behaved and join in with heart felt 'Amens' at the end.
Alisain was parked on the floor near to the nurses, with his bowl of 'soft diet' corn starch mash (very appealing!!) and like any child might do, he was enjoying playing and mashing it about in his bowl. Let me let you in on a bit of Alisain's personality. When he first arrived he was scared to death of white people and pretty much any procedure sounded like we were going to murder the poor child. However, he has now become a little bit of a monkey, schooching out the door when people aren't looking and running full pelt into any of the nurses he vaguely recognises for hugs and tickles. Quite frankly a bit of a tinker!! He has also since arriving on the ward learnt the words 'Hi' and 'Bye' and continuously runs back and forth just so he can wave hi and bye.
Whilst we were praying he noticed what we were doing, and decided he would join in. His hands covered in mash he closed his eyes and put on a very serious face. Both Ali and I spotted his little antics and caught his eye a few times, he gave a huge cheeky grin as he peeked through one eye and then quickly put back on his serious face again. This went on for 10 minutes or so, and was hilarious!!
To top it off at the end of our prayer time he shouts a big 'Amen' and then giggles furiously, gets up and starts running around again in a too big hospital gown covered in flip flops...

please note: I was endeavouring to pay attention to the prayers too...!!

Baby Powder

Yesterday I had another two of those moments when I just remember where I am and realise this is not my normal environment.
I was dashing along the corridor by the wards to go to our sluice room (and by dashing, I don't mean my usual UK nurse walk, that has departed long since, can you believe it!!), and I poked my head into B ward. A ward where I was working is full of adults, with only two children, B ward on the other hand is virtually all kids and so is full to overflowing with people, kids and their care givers. I am having serious withdrawal from my lack of pediatric patients, so I felt a quick detour to B ward for some kiddy time was neccessary.
Across the room I spied a young couple, clearly doting on their very young little baby. Mama had just finished giving the baby a good scrub and had him lain over her lap. Here I have noticed that whatever we give to the patients, be it soap, build up drinks or moisturiser in their admission packs, they seem to think it must be very important, and what one person has, others always want the same.
This mama had been given a bottle of baby powder, and use it she did. I could barely contain myself as this chocolate coloured mini person became gradually what can only be described as a big white ball of cotton wool. Every inch of the baby's skin was gradually dowsed in powder, leaving only a tiny little chocolate head free of the stuff. My word, I really had to giggle! Another moment where the simplist thing is the most precious!

Wednesday, 18 June 2008

Adwina...

This Monday I had a gorgeous little girl admitted to the ward. She has hair tied in little plaits sticking right out of her head in all directions. Adwina, has a bouncy little walk and a coy head tilt. I went and introduced myself to her and her family and she asked me 'wha yor nam', I answered and she giggled, burying her head into her mothers lap. She has the sweetest countenance.
Her next question was, 'give me your hand', see Adwina is 4 and she has bilateral cataracts! She is virtually blind, barely being able to see light and dark. Her mum guides her everywhere, but still he leaps and skips everytime she has to go to the bathroom (though that sometimes does cause a few mishaps!). Right now we have an eye surgeon, who does between 25 and 30 cataract extractions everyday...the record is 36! We don't have all of these patients on the ward but some like Adwina, need to stay overnight at least. It is such a simple operation, yet here so many people are literally crippled because of cataracts, rendered unable to participate in the labour of society.
I looked after Adwina for a short while after her surgery yesterday afternoon. Not surprisingly she was a little scared. she understood her surgery and I explained she would have patches over her eyes, but her insecurity showed. I had to be careful to call her name as I got close so she would know I was there. After gently coaxing her from her sleepy state to eat and drink, she fell back to sleep.
Adwina will probably be going home today. I can only imagine the excitement she gets to experience when she finally gets those patches off and can experience, colours, shapes and seeing her Mum's face again.

A duvet day...

Last Saturday it was my weekend off and after a hectic few days, was surprisingly not disappointed to see that it was chucking it down with rain outside. I got up and had a long chat with my friend Hannah over breakfast, then crawled back to bed to listen to a sermon from CLC online (loving the power of the internet!). A little later armed with lunch and my recent delivery of Cadburys buttons and G tips, what followed was an afternoon of bliss.
A bunch of us hit the lounge upstairs and collapsed in disarray on the sofas in front of the Rugby. Armed with books and random conversation, and LOADS of tea (some things will never change in my world!) we stayed put for about 5 hours. It was blissful. There was laughing till our sides hurt, peace and quiet, whooping at the Rugby and Football. Just nice. Though I'm not sure how many of those days I can cope with when rainy season comes....

Tuesday, 10 June 2008

Inspired by Play-Doh

Sometimes the nurses from the ward are asked to go and run a ward activity instead of their usual nursing duties. This is a great time for the patients and great fun for us too. So, just recently Ali (of 'Team Awesome...') decided to go for a PLay Doh creation story experience. She gave the patients and relatives/carers that wanted to join in a lump of play doh. After explaining to them how God created everything from nothing, and encouraging them to think about the fact that He created us too, she gave them a 'small thing' (a lump of play-doh)to create 'something'. Ali asked and the rest of the nurses to use their imagination and create whatever they liked.
So began the creations, a little nervously at first but soon the budding artists were producing things fast. Snakes, spiders, cooking pots, huts... Not a cat, dog or person in sight!! It just struck me what a different context and environmental influences we have.

Orphanage building

Each Saturday a group of people from Mercy Ships travel an hour or two to a place in the bush where some ex Mercy Shippers are helping to buiild a school. The school is for children who are at an orphanage on the same site, and eventually they will have a new building to live in too. The two guys who work there are lovely and clearly hae a heart for the kids there. They sleep in a hut in the middle of the compund in mosquito nets, and have a traditional stove to cook on.
I went along with a group of 7 of us (mostly blokes) to go and help continue the building work.
We drove into the area and were quickly surrounded by many of the orphans, after lots of hugs and hi fives I was introduced to one of the guys David who is working there for another few weeks. We had barely got through the hello how are you, names etc before David asked me, 'are you a nurse by any chance?' My heart kind of skipped a beat, and with a nervous smile, yes I am actually. 'What can I do for you...?' I said, let's be honest with fear and trembling, again another leap out of my already stretcched comfort zone. An elated David sent one of the kids off to find Darling Boy, a boy about 6 or 7, he came to me with a raggy hanky wrapped around his leg. We ducked inside the hut and I grabbed the only set of medical supplies they had - a small first aid kit. Peeling off the hanky and plaster underneath I was faced with a cut that appeared to be devloping into an ulcer type wound. Ok, what now...? No running water, no dressings bigger than a plaster...hmmm.

At that moment I guess I felt quite a lot of pressure but at the same time,I was actually quite excited, my brain started ticking and the plan came together. A rinse with bottled water (no running water obviously), betadine and a patch up with non adherent dressing and tape later, I felt at least this was better than a hanky! A few instructions, and things to look out for in case it got worse, and with the promise of trying to send some more dressing supplies I set to work on helping paint.

We needed to undercoat the bare plastered walls, so after much debate about the consistency of the powdered paint, I set to work with one of the locals who was also helping with the project. We chatted and he explained to me that he was going to teach in the shool when it was finished, but right now he was trying to work so that he could go back to school and finish his education too. The more I talk to people the more it seems they take time off from school, to earn money to go back to school, the cycle repeating itself as time goes on. Some people at university will hold down night shift jobs alongside their studies, in fact, many of our translators are in that boat.
I have to say, my painting skills weren't as great as I hoped, the paint being virtually dry before my roller hit the wall, but it helped if only small small.

A little later we had our lunch (that was a difficult experience... the kids were all telling me how hungry they were when I came from out of the hut after my food. Pointing to their tummies and asking for bread. It's pretty heart breaking, but I made up for it by playing lots of games in the next hour or so. Lawrence one of the guys was able to cut up an apple and share it out to each of the kids which they loved. (They do actually get fed well by the people who run the orphanage by the way!!).
'Round and round the garden', 'This little piggy..' were the hit rhymes for the afternoon with lots of giggles and cheeky smiles as we played. Then stupidly I began twizzies, flinging the kids about, and completely exhausting myself but there was much hilarity and laughter and right then that was what counted.

The guys continued doing some other work while I went for a little walk with Shayla. She has been going to the orphanage quite regularly and so has got to know someof the mama's and families around. We had a little walk through a small group of houses. Tin roofs and mud roofs, all the houses focused around the main cooking area. They showed me how some of them made palm nut oil to sell at the markets, an arduos time consuming process. The nuts are 'shelled', mashed, and placed in an enormous pot, boiled and eventually what is separated on top of the water is scooped off, leaving the rich red oil for cooking. Those bottles of oil at the supermarket we don't even think about, here, someone has spent hours preparing.

Amidst the houses there are clothes on the line or placed on rocks drying, kids playing, babies feeding. The place was boiling hot, and the women working so hard round the massive fires. I noticed at that point though, despite everything, how peaceful it was here. In Monrovia, the city is bustling, the car horns never stop, even when I sleep there is the constant hum of the ship engines roaring. Here, it was just serene, quiet, almost eerie how different the feel of the place was.

Not long after that we played our final games and packed up. waving mad good byes to the kids we piled into the land rover.

Another adventure, another peek into a whole different world...

Missionaries of Charity visit

So before being unwell, nearly two weeks ago now, I returned to Missionaries of Charity. I led the group of people who wanted to come to help with the kids. I explained to them ho hyper they often were, and how we could help at meal times. We had a group of 5 of us this time which was great because the more hands, the better, lots of little bodies wanting a cuddle and someone to play with. they were actually quite a lot calmer than usual when we arrived which was a good sign. I had a few more exciting plans for the visit today...
The smallest of babies continued to look so much healthier, one in particular I actually didn't recognise he had got so big.

I met a new helper who had volunteered to come on a regular basis who was a nurse. she had been to Liberia before working with another charity. She was lovely and obviously has the same passion for the place as I do.

A few of us did a nail painting session, it is the most hysterical scene. From no where, suddenly limbs just begin to appear, a few heads burrow their way through the crowd to the front, pushing to be the next. Feet and hands are suddenly up close and personal. What madness! The children's eyes light up, the boys even clamour for bright orange, red, turquiose adn purple splodges on their grubby little hands and feet. Giggles of delight as one by one their nails change colour. You can't help but smile. Eventually most of the little ones are satisfied at their suitably bright nails, and we look at what we can do next...

We had a traditional instrument (it's name escapes me right now!!) which is a hollow shell, surrounded by a mesh with beads. It is used at most churches adn is a very unusual looking contraption, but by holding onto the mesh and moving the shell, an awesome sound is created. So I got it out and in my very western bad rhythm began to make sounds. In walks little prince, barely walking actually, only a little tot, and starts shiking his little nappied butt in time with the sound. Bouncing up and down and jigging whilst playing with a building block I might add. It just confirmed yet again how innate the sense of rhythm and music is to the people here. Awesome!

Being as the kids were so 'calm', we got out some play-doh too. The biright colours were unfortunately a little appealing to one or two of the little mouths, but once shown what it was really for, snakes and blobs and creatures began emerging from the soft stuff. A lesson on colours in English began. Many of the children speak Bassa, though they are quite convinced if they just keep chattering to us that eventually we will understand what they're saying..I'm still hoping too!

Next I took a bit of a big risk. Lots of the kids were playing with play-doh and balloons and just having cuddles, so I decided to try out the facepaints........ I am pretty sure these kids have never seen or had face paints before so my first little victim was a little nervous. Perched on a little stool I showed her on my hand how the paint brush would put colours on her skin. With a few winces to begin with I created a small purple butterfly, with green spots on her cheek. Picking up one of the toys which had a mirror in, she had a careful long look, a little bewildered. Then a definite decision, and she pointed at her other cheek. By this time a little crowd was gathering, so next came a big red star for one of the boys. Boy, did he giggle when he saw his image in the mirror! So the face paints continued... on foreheads, cheeks, noses. Even though there was a little audience, I think it was an activity which had with it a sense of intimacy to really connect with each child. I let each one choose their colours and they just stared straight into my eyes as I concetrated on painting, saying silent prayers in my heart for each one. Maybe they knew, but for sure they barely moved a muscle. The result of each was beaming smiles and cuddles.

I left that place with my heart filled, my hands covered in paint, nail varnish on my face (???!!)and play-doh on my bum. What more can a girl want?

Sorry it's been a while!

So after a very hectic week last week (more on that in a bit...) I was pretty ill so the updates kind of went out the window! Bit of a huge thank you to my room mates - ice packs, back rubs, pills, bread, water, quietness, being willing to vacate the bathroom at the drop of a hat, what more could you ask for!!
So on with the stories...

Sunday, 1 June 2008

This is a horrible day.

That's how I felt this last Friday. You know when you just can't get yourself to be chirpy. Something doesn't sit right and you just feel horrendous, unsociable, on the brink of tears, and so fed up...So just in case you wondered not every day is perfect and bright and breezy. My shift began, I had had a parcel sent to me, gone to the mail room and it wasn't there, panic sent in, like it was the only thing in the world that mattered right now (yes, see previous posts and I'm worrying about a parcel...?!) Logically someone had picked it up by mistake or had collected it for me. I asked around, no one knew anything. My word, it seemed like the end of the world!! Then appeared Ali (of the nursing A team...more about that another time), parcel in hand. I was so relieved and everyone else too I think, no one wants to work with a grumpy Grace. Things were a little better. Even more so when the package contained Cadbury's buttons and PG tips, what more of a luxuary could a girl in Liberia want?

Then as always, God stepped in and gave a reality check, in the form of 3 of our previous bilateral club feet patients, coming in for cast changes. You may remember hearing about them in my club foot entry. These 3 little ones are the kind that actually make your heart hurt to be around them. They came in and Ali Katy and I were leaping off the ceiling in delight, cuddles handshakes, tickly tummys and all those things that come with some kind of reunion. The next half hour resembled some kind of organised chaos, their Mama's just as excited to be back too.

Something in my spirit changed in those few moments. Everything made sense again.

What ensued after dinner can only be described as mayhem as I imagine will be happening in the kids corner in heaven. I got out some quilted mats, blocks, and lego, and we played, and played and knocked over bricks, tickled, sang (the older of the little ones was singing he's got the whole world...), dashed them to the bathroom just in time because we were too busy having fun (and I'll be honest there were 2 not quite in time moments...not for the none nurses among us). Amidst that, I looked after my adult patients too, who to be honest were loving watching us play together. I have never felt so exhausted and energised by a shift that I can remember. Then I had a moment to just sit and watch the 3 little ones we had placed on a bed together to colour and sing and chatter nonsense with each other. It was like I was getting a VIP glimpse at something so special that it was kept secret from virtually everyone. It was a few moments of blissful innocent peace amongst a crazy, confused, erratic world.

I wish you could have felt and seen and been part of that shift. You just can't help but be challenged and changed and blessed. I am so thankful for each day, even the rubbish ones but I wonder every day, why me and not someone else?