This is a horrible day.

That's how I felt this last Friday. You know when you just can't get yourself to be chirpy. Something doesn't sit right and you just feel horrendous, unsociable, on the brink of tears, and so fed up...So just in case you wondered not every day is perfect and bright and breezy. My shift began, I had had a parcel sent to me, gone to the mail room and it wasn't there, panic sent in, like it was the only thing in the world that mattered right now (yes, see previous posts and I'm worrying about a parcel...?!) Logically someone had picked it up by mistake or had collected it for me. I asked around, no one knew anything. My word, it seemed like the end of the world!! Then appeared Ali (of the nursing A team...more about that another time), parcel in hand. I was so relieved and everyone else too I think, no one wants to work with a grumpy Grace. Things were a little better. Even more so when the package contained Cadbury's buttons and PG tips, what more of a luxuary could a girl in Liberia want?

Then as always, God stepped in and gave a reality check, in the form of 3 of our previous bilateral club feet patients, coming in for cast changes. You may remember hearing about them in my club foot entry. These 3 little ones are the kind that actually make your heart hurt to be around them. They came in and Ali Katy and I were leaping off the ceiling in delight, cuddles handshakes, tickly tummys and all those things that come with some kind of reunion. The next half hour resembled some kind of organised chaos, their Mama's just as excited to be back too.

Something in my spirit changed in those few moments. Everything made sense again.

What ensued after dinner can only be described as mayhem as I imagine will be happening in the kids corner in heaven. I got out some quilted mats, blocks, and lego, and we played, and played and knocked over bricks, tickled, sang (the older of the little ones was singing he's got the whole world...), dashed them to the bathroom just in time because we were too busy having fun (and I'll be honest there were 2 not quite in time moments...not for the none nurses among us). Amidst that, I looked after my adult patients too, who to be honest were loving watching us play together. I have never felt so exhausted and energised by a shift that I can remember. Then I had a moment to just sit and watch the 3 little ones we had placed on a bed together to colour and sing and chatter nonsense with each other. It was like I was getting a VIP glimpse at something so special that it was kept secret from virtually everyone. It was a few moments of blissful innocent peace amongst a crazy, confused, erratic world.

I wish you could have felt and seen and been part of that shift. You just can't help but be challenged and changed and blessed. I am so thankful for each day, even the rubbish ones but I wonder every day, why me and not someone else?